CONTENTS
Chapter
1 A Ton of Money and a Good Name
Chapter 2 Rob N. Hood’s Running Mate Finds Himself
Chapter 3 The Election Reveals That Money Isn’t the
Only Thing Worth Stealing
Chapter 5 The New President’s First Legislative
Initiative
Chapter 6 The New Guard Moves to Washington
Chapter 9 The New President Repeals the Previous
Administration
Chapter 11 The President Tackles Education Reform and
Election Reform
Chapter 14 Justice is Nearsighted and Squints a Little
Chapter 15 Majority is a Washington Word
Chapter 19 Energy Is Equal to Mass Times the Cost of
Light Squared
Chapter 21 Loyalty Is a One-way Street
Chapter 23 One if by Land, Two if by Intercontinental
Ballistic Missile
Chapter 24 We Just Want to Give You Back Your Deficit
Chapter 25 If God Wanted Us to Have Separation of Church
and State, Why Did He Make Me President?
Chapter 26 It May Be Social But It’s Not Secure
Chapter 27 President Stems Cell Research
Chapter 33 And Anything but the Truth
Chapter 36 It’s Only Class Warfare If They Fight Back
Chapter 37 Pick a War, Any War
Chapter 38 Out with the Old Lies, in with the New
Chapter 40 Medicare Malpractice
Chapter 43 Just Because They’re Dead Doesn’t Mean They
Can’t Make Themselves Useful
Chapter 45 A PAC Is Worth a Thousand Words
Chapter 46 What
Color Is Your Golden Parachute?
Chapter 49 It’s Only a Lie Till a Majority Believes It
Chapter 50 The Guardians Of Privilege Perfect a
Perpetual Motion Machine
Chapter 51 The Guardians Of Privilege Get Their Own
Fight Song
Chapter 52 You Only Leak Twice
Chapter 54 Leave No Truth Unturned
Chapter 55 A Picture Is Worth Some Very Bad Words
Chapter 56 The President Laughs at the Constitution and
Defends the Dictionary Tooth and Nail
Chapter 58
Strategic Planning Is the Key to Success
Chapter 59 Apple Pie:
Patriotic Treat or Terrorist Time Bomb?
Chapter 60 The Race Is Not to the Swift—At Least Not
When We’re Around
Chapter 61 Truth Gets in Your Eyes
Chapter 62 An Elephant Never Remembers
Chapter 63 You Have Nothing to Fear But Everything We
Can Think Of
Chapter 64 All News Is Good News
Chapter 65 Location, Location, Location
Chapter 66 Bad Things Don’t Happen to Our People
Chapter 67 Canute Can’t, But I Can
Chapter 68 You Ain’t Seen Nothing Yet
Chapter 71 Congress Reforms the Criminal Justice System
Chapter 72 The Only Real Real Numbers Are Our Real
Numbers
Chapter 74 There’s No Such Thing as a Free Press
Chapter 75 Divine Inspiration Is an Art, Not (Thank
God!) a Science
Chapter 76 Even Rogue Needs a Pep Talk Now and Then
Chapter 77 Checks and Balances, Bread and Circuses,
What’s the Difference?
Chapter 78 Nobody Expects the Spanish Inquisition
Chapter 79 Apple Pie Was Only the Beginning
Chapter 80 Fate Plays the Field
Chapter 81 The
Law Is a Seamless Web of Contradictions
Chapter 82 So That’s What a Spokesmodel Does
Chapter 83 Rob N. Grows His Job Description
Chapter 84 There Are No
Lemons, Only Unmade Lemonades
Chapter 85 Chainsaw
Exercises His Second Amendment Rights
Chapter 87 Huddled Masses Go Home
Chapter 88 Extreme Makeover: (White) House Edition
Chapter 89 New, Improved Democracy—Better Than Ever
Chapter 90 Traitors, Traitors Everywhere
Chapter 91 The Triumph of Moderation
Chapter 92 Leading the Free World Is Harder Than It
Looks
Chapter 93 How Ya Gonna Keep ‘Em Down On the Farm After
They’ve Seen Tehran?
Chapter 94 You Go to War With the Army You Have, Not the
Army You Might Want
Chapter 95 One Election Too Many
Chapter 96 The Hood Administration Looks Something Up in
a Book
Chapter 97 Justice Finally Gets Corrective Lenses